In the aftermath and onslaught of media surrounding the tragedy in Arizona, I have to admit, I was nonplussed. If that’s the right word. It seems we have become desensitized, or I have. I thought it horrible that a child, my daughter’s age was killed, as well as all of the others, but honestly, I was not as horrified as I am sure I should have been. This of course is where my own horror begins.
We have all thought about what you don’t want to hear as a parent; the police at your door at 1 am offering apologies, or hearing your child apologize for doing a seriously stupid thing, etc..and you never think that the things that you see happen on television will happen to you or your family. I’ve wrestled with telling this story because it is happening right now. I’ve thought I should keep it to myself for now, but I am useless and on a roller coaster of emotions and would not dream of putting any of my friends through this verbally.
My ex-husband called me earlier today to inform me that my son’s school was on lockdown because a kid brought a gun to school. He stated that everyone was fine, the gun was located and the student was removed. I thought to myself that kid was either stupid or really disturbed. After that I went about my business. Until the Assistant Principal called. He needed to get permission for a police detective to talk with my child, as he was somehow connected to this incident. He assured me that my child was not in trouble, but needed to be questioned. Again, I was nonplussed, thought this might be routine, but very curious. Then the detective called me. As she spoke to me the pieces began to fall into place. I remember the words, ” the student with the gun said he intended to kill himself, but we are not ever 100 percent what the intentions were….there were threatening texts, did your child mention this?” In short, my child was a target with a loaded gun intended or not intended for him. How do you react when your child could have been killed today?