12 Days of Giving Part Blah, Blah, Blah

And that pretty much sums up my thoughts these days.  I have tried really hard to get into the Christmas spirit, but it just is not working.  Do I look forward to watching my kids open their gifts?  Of course!  Do I look forward to getting a gift or two?  Of course!  Am I all excited about the whole ship-sha-bang!?  NO!  And I cannot figure out why!    This is a new thing for me.  Christmas is always my favorite time of the year, but not so much this year and I cannot figure out why.  In my past posts I have argued with myself about this, thinking that in time as Christmas draws nearer, that I will be filled with it.  But I’m not.


So, as you may have guessed, my 12 Days of Giving gave out.  I did eventually drop off my goods to the homeless shelter and I even fulfilled day number 3-buy the persons meal in line behind you at the drive thru, but honestly, I do that every once in awhile as it is.  Maybe I just feel that all those 12 days stuff shouldn’t be about Christmas time-it should be all the time.  Unexpected gifts pop up all the time at Christmas.  You read about in the news and see them on the tv.  But what about in the middle of May and you walk out to your car and someone left you a $10 Starbucks gift card on your windshield, for no reason at all.  How about going out to the grocery store when its raining or really cold out and collecting all the carts in the middle of January, just so the guys that have already done it 3 times already can get a little bit of a break.  I don’t know, but I feel like Charlie Brown waiting for my Linus to show up and stick that spirit in me.  Tonight everything feels like a chore.

One Comment

  1. I totally understand where you’re coming from. For me, it’s a depressing time of year, 21 years since Dad died, 9 years since Carol died, etc. etc. I look forward to seeing the kids open gifts but I don’t even put up a tree or decorations if we’re not hosting Christmas. And this y ear, it’s a bushy Norfolk Island pine on a little round table, strung with an 8-foot strand of little lights and with a tiny creche beneath it. The presents are stacked around, all in their present bags and it was a chore, not a joy, to do this. I get very depressed around the holidays and sometimes people say “You should be over it.” But you never, ever “get over” grief…you just learn to deal with it.


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