Some times I feel like this gourd. Well, lots of times. On first impression the gourd is warty, funky colored, not ideal. I feel like that, too. Seems I have always been the ugly friend, the “wingman” , the less refined, the socially inept, the chubby one, the one that had a lot of dreams but fears got in the way. The B+, not the A. The too needy, like a dog begging for attention or a child wishing for affirmation. Yes, this is what I think about in the shower, during yoga, while laying in bed at night, while driving my car, while doing things with my kids-I am just not good enough. But, this gourd is. He, I will assume “he” as it is sexless, grows from a vine, and when complete, he is cut and sold. As is, for seasonal decoration, then discarded. On the brighter side of this, I took the picture because I liked his warts, his coloring, his overall funkiness. I’m not sure, but I will venture someone else does too.
It was recently said, that in order to shine a light into the world, you have to start by shining a light in yourself. So, do not think I am some self loathing individual, I am just shedding some light inside to the corners and finding things that have been living there. They seem to be blocking some major arteries of life for me and I just need to figure out how to flush the system clean.